People Are Concerned

Several phrases have become “red flags” to me over the last 20 years as I’ve heard them repeatedly spoken at church. “People are concerned…” is one of them.

 

This phrase usually signals the presence of a group of people who are upset. The “people” are never identified, but they manage to find a spokesman to voice their concerns. It usually sounds something like this:

 

“I’ve had dozens of calls this week from people who are concerned about what you said in business meeting last week.”

“There are many people who are concerned about what you posted on your blog this week.”

“I’ve had lots of emails from people who are concerned about what your wife said.”

“We’re receiving calls from people who are concerned that you are not dressing appropriately to be in front of the congregation on Sunday mornings.”

 

When I hear this phrase, I wonder:

1. Who are these “people” with concerns? How many of them are there? Do they really exist? Why do they wish to remain anonymous?

2. Why didn’t they approach the person they are “concerned” about…one-on-one?

3. Is the concern really a concern…or is it more of a complaint?

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In my experience, “People are concerned…” actually means:

1. Person A doesn’t like what Person B has done or said.

2. Person A has not gone to Person B and talked to him about the concern.

3. Person A talks to Persons C,D & E about his dislike of what Person B has done or said.

4. When Person A finds a couple of other people who share his viewpoint about Person B, he contacts someone in authority and voices “the concerns of many”.

5. The person of authority (perhaps a minister, deacon, teacher or committee member) contacts Person B and tells him that “there are many people who are concerned about what you said (or what you did).”

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The actions taken by church leadership, while using this phrase as a basis or excuse, becomes the worrisome part of the scenario. We’ve seen it play out this way in recent years:

1.The authority figure approaches Person B with the concerns and Person B subsequently removes the blog post or makes sure his wife watches what she says in the future or changes his Sunday morning attire…as a result of pressure by church leadership, not personal conviction.

2. Person A skips talking to Person B and, instead, takes his “concerns” straight to a committee who subsequently investigates the concerns and forces Person B to resign without the offer of forgiveness/reconciliation…and without ever naming the people who brought the concerns or stating exactly what the concerns were.

3. Person B finds that his voice in the church is subtly limited or snuffed out by those who disapprove of him.

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So, when I hear “people are concerned”, I think about Matthew 18:15-17.

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ ¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they

refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

 

Then I consider:

1. Is this “concern” a sin? Or is it a complaint, dislike or difference of opinion?

2. If you are concerned over a sin, are you willing to go to the person…”just between the two of you”?

3. If you take your concern over the sin to the person and they listen, are you willing to let it go? Or will you still feel the need to talk about it to others?

4. What is your goal in voicing the “concern”? Loving restoration of the relationship? Helping the person move forward in unity with the “church body”? Or is the goal to punish, shame or force the person out of the “body”?

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Unfortunately, it seems we ignore this verse much of the time and rely, instead, on man-written church by-laws when dealing with our “concerns”. I wonder how our church business would change if we operated according to this verse.

 

In the future, I plan to handle hearing “people are concerned” like this:

“Thank you for calling. I appreciate you letting me know that people are concerned about what I said (or what I did). If you would have them call me personally, I would be happy to hear their concerns and consider what action I need to take.”

or

“I’m sorry that people are concerned about what Person B did. Could you please have those people call Person B and speak to him personally about the concern?”