Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Tunnel Of Chaos

For two and a half years I’ve been in turmoil. Struggling to understand the chaos around me. Trying to understand the reaction of church members to my requests for honesty and transparency. Trying to understand how I had so grossly misunderstood Scripture over so many years. Questioning myself, my motives, my character. Bashing myself for not being able to see our church situation as the church members I had always respected saw it: as unfortunate, but part of life that had to be accepted. At times I dealt with depression so dark and painful that I begged God for the desire to even live in the world that I no longer understood. A world so chaotic, I was unsure how to even exist in it.

And then a friend urged me to watch this video. She felt it might help me gain some perspective on the last 2 1/2 years. I’m so grateful.