My Bad?

If I hear this one more time I think I’ll barf:

“Church is made up of people. People are sinners. You can’t put your trust in people. They will always let you down. It happens in every church. That’s why you should only trust God. He won’t let you down.”

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Do you think you’re telling me something I’ve never thought about? I’m 46 years old. Do you think I’m suddenly going to hear you say those words and say, “OH! You’re right! My bad. I’ve never thought of that before. I feel so much better now that I realize it was MY fault that I was hurt by the corruption and deception in church. I should have never trusted anyone there. If I had only trusted God and no one else, I could have prevented myself this pain. Wow. I’m sorry for trusting people. Please forgive me. Let me jump right back in and give it another go!”

How did we become so comfortable using this rationale as an excuse for our hurtful actions in church? And how did we come to so easily accept it as a way to excuse the blatant wrongs we witness? I can’t even count the number of times over the last 2 years that church members have acknowledged to me the wrongdoings of men in leadership at this church and then followed the acknowledgement with “Well, you know that’s just how he is. He’s never going to change, but how can I judge him when I’m also a sinner?” Hmm. You obviously draw the line somewhere. Where do you draw it and how do you decide? Do you believe in jail for criminals…or do you excuse their behavior because you’re also a sinner? Do you draw the line when YOUR family’s comfort or safety is on the line? Do you suddenly feel it’s your right, or even responsibility, to judge when it becomes personal?

And I wonder…how is the “you shouldn’t put your trust in people” explanation much different than blaming the victim of a sexual assault for bringing the attack on herself by dressing provocatively? We blame the victims of spiritual (or religious) abuse for trusting people when they should know better than to trust people because they are sinners? So what are we saying to young people? To “unchurched” people? To “non-believers”? Are we saying, “You should come be a part of our church, but don’t trust any of us because we will let you down by spreading gossip about you, making accusations about people and perpetuating a culture of deception.” and “If our actions hurt you, we will blame YOU for trusting us in the first place.”?

Why would anyone ever find that appealing? The “world” looks more promising than that nearly every day of the week.

Maybe we should rethink ridiculous explanations for our unGodly behavior.